Triskaidekaphobia

The lights dimmed, as the screen lit up. The title of the film splashed across the screen “The Greatness of MFOYA, From Then To Now”. After the typical dirge intro, the cameras showed the same room that I was presently sitting in. Slowly the camera panned onto an individual sitting in a very large throne-like chair. This was someone I had yet to see. This MFOYA was the strangest I had seen yet. One minute it’s face looked ordinary, the next second it morphed into the image of a devil, then back to it’s normal countenance, over and over. Half-Devil MFOYA!

Half-Devil MFOYA began to speak. “The MFOYA you see today was not always the greatness that it has become. It started long ago, from tiny planted seeds, to grow into the mighty oak that it is today. MFOYA come from many walks of life, from many cities and states. They have bonded together to accomplish one mission, to expose the truth.

Many of the MFOYA attempted individually to spread the word, but to no avail. It was only when we banded together, as one, that success was achieved.

The danger of being a messenger of truth is well known by MFOYA. We have been ridiculed and laughed at, we have been silenced and thrown out of many gatherings. But the stupidity and arrogance of those who tried to silence us, has only made us stronger.

We began to meet in private, at a secure facility called Giraffe. We began to investigate, to track our prey, to find out as much as we could about them. We tracked their addresses, their personal information, we found their sites and we befriended them. If they were at a public activity, we made sure that we knew about it, tracking their every move. As private as this site, we needed even more privacy, because there were still some who questioned us and our techniques. We burned Giraffe down, obliterating any evidence that we had ever been there. From the ashes arose MFOYA, just as a phoenix.

We began small. Our first blog centered around the stupidity and ignorance of the fans. This did not attract the attention that we wanted, so we stepped up the intensity with our first post about the scam. We presented it as a hypothesis, in fact, we even portrayed ourselves as questioning the scam, just to see how we could get others to react. It was still not enough. We knew that the stupid masses are reluctant to strike out on their own and follow a leader, unless they feel that they are not the only ones. So we began to post under different names, to encourage others to join in. It worked for a little while, people began to visit our site, but they still could not accept our truth, they still questioned our knowledge.

We knew that we needed more, we needed for the world to acknowledge us. Fortunately, our talents were many. We needed proof, and we had the means necessary to create that proof. We worked our photographic magic to cast doubt about people’s identities. Finally, after months of hard work, somebody listened. We had support from a reliable, though little known, news site. They published our truth. There were some who stated that they were mocking us, but we knew the truth, we always have.

So that is the greatness of MFOYA you see today. We have done all of this work, sacrificed time, neglected our families and our livelihoods, to bring the truth to you. If you are watching this, it means that we have succeeded. We are the Great MFOYA.”

With that last statement, Half-Devil MFOYA rose from it’s chair, and was flanked by the other MFOYA. They began to celebrate. Corks popped, confetti flew. The screen went black.

I turned in my chair and faced the MFOYA around me. Sybil MFOYA and Dancing MFOYA had tears running down their cheeks. Beavis and Butthead MFOYA were cackling away between themselves. The others just stared at me, waiting for my response.

I looked from MFOYA to MFOYA, unsure of exactly what they expected my response to be.

“Interesting little film”, I said, “but hardly one that’s going to make it into any theater, not even the ones with the sticky floors and the men in raincoats. I stll don’t understand what you expect from all of this. What’s your motivation?”

The MFOYA seemed upset by my question. Again, more whispering between them. Finally, Sad MFOYA spoke “Why does it matter why we did it, the important thing is…it was done.”

“It does matter”, I answered, “because you can’t expect for people to understand your truth, unless they understand why it’s important to them. How does it impact their lives? Otherwise, it’s like the newspaper they read one minute, and the next minute put at the bottom of their birdcage to be shit on. You don’t want to be that newspaper, do you?”

More whispering, more discussion between the MFOYA. Finally, Turnip MFOYA turned to me and said “You want to know our motivation? We’ll tell you.”

To Be Continued

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January 30, 2008. Tags: . Uncategorized.

24 Comments

  1. hicksfan7 replied:

    I, for one, have ALWAYS wanted to know the motivation. Yes, I definitely have wanted to know – can’t wait to find out.

  2. chill replied:

    Beavis and Butthead cackling, that is so great. Nailed the characters. Why are Sybil and Dancing MFOYA sad?

  3. makingfunofyourasses replied:

    Maybe their big hearts were touched by their tribute to themselves?

  4. Sunny replied:

    Motivation for the MFOYA and the site?

    Well my talented lassie, it’s spawned much more talk and interest in Mr. Hicks. It’s created avenues for creativity by those who are into that sort of thing – as you obviously are.

    It’s set the record straight regarding the intensity of the on-line fan base. It’s brought to the fore and to the attention of anyone remotely concerned that Hicks indeed has a fan base – still out there. Platinum records or not.

    Much has been created within the past 8 to 9 months. More than just a gossipy site with some far-fetched ideas and rumors and speculation. Let’s face facts, the doppelganger theory almost takes a person on LSD to swallow and believe the tale it’s so far out. But hey. Look at what all has come from this. The tight are tighter, the masses have shown their asses and Hicks has distinct validation he has fans.

    Sure ‘some’ have taken the proverbial bullet in the long haul, but all in all worth the endeavor and hardship perhaps.

    My take for the moment.

    Keep writing your stories.

  5. Sunny replied:

    m’asses, chill and co. are not going to ‘get’ it. They struggle to keep up. Your one smart writer. You, I think, understand.

  6. Sunny replied:

    typo sheesh, you’re one smart writer…

  7. makingfunofyourasses replied:

    Seriously, Sunny, you are looking at the “good” things that have come out of this? I’m sure Hicks will be forever grateful that your group has done so much for him. Your thank you note is in the mail. I’m sure Ms. Lyders will be adding her own postscript to it.

  8. mfoyasucks replied:

    Sunny, I take it that you are going to tell me that statement above isn’t a slam as well? My oh my, I must be really, really.. slow..

  9. enelrac1775 replied:

    Sunny-Please tell me you are joking! If not, seek therapy immediately and never, ever try to “help” anyone ever again. You know the old saying,”with friends like you..”

  10. mfoyasucks replied:

    “Sure ’some’ have taken the proverbial bullet in the long haul, but all in all worth the endeavor and hardship perhaps.”

    Is that not the craziest thing Sunny has said? Yeah, this chick needs help.Hey Sunny, run don’t walk to the nearest psych ward at your local hospital. Scary shit!

  11. Jeanni replied:

    Mfoyasses, the latest chapter was so clever, true and also, disturbing. Brilliant.

    Sunny, I literally felt ill when I read what you wrote. OH MY GOD. It’s difficult to put into words…you must be very lonely, exiled in your own little world of hate, envy and total ignorance.

    Taylor is a human being, whose not deserving of this MESS,that’s been slung at him by mfoya and her whores. You think this is GOOD for Taylor? How dare you make that claim, you pathetic peon!

    I’m reminded of this – From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate. ~Socrates

  12. makingfunofyourasses replied:

    I’m all about free speech here, but I would ask that you not refer to anyone as a whore here. It’s a word that I abhor, I believe that is used to denigrate women and diminish their value and it reflects badly on all of us. I know we all have different experiences, and we view language differently, but I’d prefer it not be used on my blog. Thanks.

  13. celebrityblondebabe replied:

    Makingfunofyourasses…
    The plot thickens! The revelation! I am awaiting the next chapter although realize that, in fact, there is truth in it, the REAL truth…and that is a sombering thought.

    Sunny, you are in limbo…a chameleon…it must feel strange not knowing who or what you are going to be from day to day.

  14. chill replied:

    I can’t believe those words came out of her mouth! hahaha OMG, do I sense the effing online force comment coming again? Sunny, seek help. You’re insane. Is that okay to say here?

  15. chill replied:

    And by the way, “your’e” would be a typo. Your means you don’t know any better.

  16. henry8 replied:

    Dear Lord, I just read Sunny’s comments. I’m nearly speechless and your know thats not normal. WTH. Is she saying Taylor was accidently helped by this because now people know that he as a bunch of stalker fans. Or is she saying this was a well thought out , orchestrated plan to help him. Weed out the bad fans, keep the good ones , you know the ones that won’t buy anything he does unless its preapproved by them. The ones that don’t want to see him do anything outside of their own little narrow view of him.
    You know, its not often that someone is helped by being called a deceiving, lying, bastard. Maybe this was one of the exceptions.

  17. makingfunofyourasses replied:

    chill….insane, psycho, nutso, frigging froot loop!

    All perfectly acceptable!

  18. chill replied:

    And Sunny, I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you waiting for a Thank You card from Taylor. I doubt he’s impressed with the abuse CL has gone through on your site.

  19. Sunny replied:

    I did not post that comment insinuating that Hicks’ need thank anyone for anything done, just saying that some things positive have come out of this – at least from my viewpoint which of course, some of you all like to always label crazy. I really don’t care. I don’t give a damn what you think of me obviously. chill and co. are not important to me in my real life.

    I was referring to what I have received from this situation, and I’ve found positive bits here and there. ‘Asses writing is one small thing.

    Regarding the whole girlfriend story, again for the millionth time I don’t care who he dates. I told MFOYA I thought the pics were of the same woman. I was most likely wrong. I don’t care even about the situation that he had some weird story concocted. I have been fascinated with the CL Fan Club and the more strident members.

    Chill I know the difference between your and you’re I made a typo in my haste to write. Nice try.

  20. Sunny replied:

    chill, regarding the CL abuse, I have never abused her – learn to read.

  21. vapor replied:

    Sunny said, “regarding the CL abuse, I have never abused her”

    You participate, encourage, endorse the site – you are as guilty as the others. You can’t have it both ways.

  22. chill replied:

    Oh, sorry, sunny, you’re right. You just hang out on a site where she’s abused. You should try to come down from the pedestal you’ve put yourself on, the view up there is not allowing you to see that your name is now synonymous with goof.

  23. Jeanni replied:

    mfoyasses,

    This is your blog, delete the word. The word is crude, yes, it fit the description of Mfoya and her followers, that, simply enough, is why I used it under those circumstances. I’ll keep that in mind, mfoyasses. Delete it. You can think of a word in it’s place, I’m sure. Thanks.

  24. celebrityblondebabe replied:

    I can think of a few…JT!!! ROFLMAO

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