It’s Armageddon, People!

*BEEP*

This is an announcement from the Internet Emergency Alarm System. THIS IS NOT A TEST, I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A TEST! Please activate your Internet Emergency Evacuation Plans. We have received a threat against our internet safety, and based on the seriousness of the threat, all emergency systems have been activated. Please proceed, in a calm, orderly manner to your Fallout Shelters.

*BEEP*

Text of the Threat is as follows: “And speaking of karma, you and your friends are going to find out just what it means, so you better be ready for it. Everyone’s had enough of your crap, and it’s not just Daughtry fans that feel this way either. Got that??”

This is serious, people!!!!!

Please do not take this warning lightly! Hopefully, by now, you and your families have practiced your emergency Internet evacuation/safety plans. For further reference, please refer to your copy of the Internet Fallout Shelter Handbook.

shelter

I will highlight a few important things for you to remember:

1. You and your family may be forced to spend days or weeks in isolation in your Fallout Shelter. In order to avoid violent arguments that can occur from living in such confined quarters, it will be necessary for you to avoid certain subjects. Please do not discuss the following topics: Politics, In-Laws, Money, or who should have won Season Five of American Idol.

2. Hopefully your Shelter has been stocked with enough food and water to sustain you for a minimum of 2 weeks. If you find yourself running short on food, do not panic! Idol Gives Back has promised to air-lift Coca Cola, American Idol Ice Cream and Pop Tarts to all targeted areas.

3. All reality shows (cough cough, reality my ass) will be suspended until the emergency is over. You will not miss out on who wins American Idol, Dancing With The Stars, Survivor or any of the important shows. However, I Think My Kid’s A Star, Top Chef and The Flavor of Love will not be suspended, due to the fact that they will be rerun a gazillion times anyway, so you’ll always be able to catch up!

4. Do not leave your Fallout Shelter unless you hear the offical Internet Emergency Plan DeActivition Announcement. The announcement will be followed by the broadcast of Daughtry’s “Home”.

I hope that you and your families will be safe during this terrifying time. God Speed!

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April 30, 2008. Tags: , . Uncategorized. 48 comments.

Fame or Success?

I was having a discussion the other day with my friends. You know, the kind of deep philosophical discussion friends get into, usually around midnight, when you’ve had a few cocktails? Someone asked the question “Would you rather be rich or famous?” Everybody had to choose one or the other, then proceeded to give their reasons for their choices. It was interesting to see the different angles my friends used to support their positions.

It made me think about the music business and how success is defined. It seems to be all about the numbers, and not necessarily the quality, of the music.

Did you know that in the 1970’s, Rick Dee’s single “Disco Duck” reached Number One on the Billboard charts and sold over 4 million copies? Did you know that the very talented duo, Milli Vanilli, sold over 30 million records in their illustrous career. Did you know that Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix were “One Hit Wonders”, only having one song each in the Top 40 during their lifetime?

Looking at just the numbers, it would seem that Milli Vanilli and “Disco Duck” were far more successful and had a greater impact on the music world than Janis or Jimi.

Which would you rather listen to?

April 29, 2008. Tags: . Uncategorized. 13 comments.

On A Scale of 1-10, I Give It A 2!

Somebody posted this in my comments. Since I have no desire to let this person have access to post at will here, there was no way I was going to approve it. But I will post it. They do say that imitation is a sincere form of flattery, don’t they? What seems to be missing from this “flattery” is a sense of humor!

I don’t even get the point…well, I get the trashing part, of course. But the “conspiracy” part? Uh, Oh! Maybe they cracked the goose code! LOL

Overheard this on a public street..

Person#1-Ever hear of that group of idiots that post on the CL Blog?

Person#2-I sure have. Didn’t they escape from some psych ward?

Person#3-Hmmmmmm, I could have sworn they were posting from one. All of them are total nutcases.

Person#4-You mean conspiracies don’t grow on trees and there’s no Easter bunny?

Person#5-Hate to tell you, but not only do those conspiracies they talk about only exist in the cob web filled mind of some freak who calls herself a celebrity, but she’s also somehow managed to find a group of fans that are just as pathetic as she is.

Person#6-Is that possible?

Person#7-Anythings possible, when you’re talking about Hicks fans.

Person#8-Who’s Taylor Hicks?

Person#9-I think that’s the name of an Elementary school.

Person#10-And the schools got fans? Hmmmmmm, very strange.

April 27, 2008. Tags: , , . Uncategorized. 20 comments.

Perfect Clarity!

Overheard in a secret chat room:

Abbott: Let’s see if we can figure out all of the hateful bloggers, shall we?

Costello: That’s what I want to find out.

Abbott: I say Who was first.

Costello: Do you know about the blogs?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: You gonna tell me about the blogs?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: And you don’t know the bloggers names?

Abbott: Well I should.

Costello: Well then who was first?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: I mean the blogger’s name.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The first blogger.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The stupid blogger…

Abbott: Who was first!

Costello: I’m asking YOU who was first.

Abbott: That’s the name.

Costello: That’s who’s name?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.

Abbott: That’s it.

Costello: That’s who?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: Look, you know the first blogger?

Abbott: Certainly.

Costello: Who was blogging first?

Abbott: That’s right.

Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you get email from the first blogger, how does it sign it’s name?

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The first blogger.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: How does it sign…

Abbott: That’s how it signs it.

Costello: Who?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: All I’m trying to find out is what’s the first blogger’s name.

Abbott: No. What was the second.

Costello: I’m not asking you who was second.

Abbott: Who was first.

Costello: One blog at a time!

Abbott: Well, don’t change the bloggers around.

Costello: I’m not changing nobody!

Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.

Costello: I’m only asking you, who’s the first blogger?

Abbott: That’s right.

Costello: Ok.

Abbott: All right.

Costello: What’s the first blogger’s name?

Abbott: No. What is the second blogger.

Costello: I’m not asking you who was second.

Abbott: Who’s was first.

Costello: I don’t know.

Abbott: That’s the third blogger, we’re not talking about that.

Costello: Now how did we get the third blog?

Abbott: Why you mentioned it’s name.

Costello: If I mentioned the third blogger’s name, who did I say is blogging third?

Abbott: No. Who’s blogging first.

Costello: What’s the first?

Abbott: What’s the second.

Costello: I don’t know.

Abbott: That’s the third.

Costello: There I go, back to the third blogger again!

Costello: Would you just stay on the third blog and don’t go off it.

Abbott: All right, what do you want to know?

Costello: Now who’s writing the third blog?

Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on the third blog?

Costello: What am I putting on third.

Abbott: No. What is on second.

Costello: You don’t want who on second?

Abbott: Who is on first.

Costello: I don’t know.

Costello: Look, you got posters, right?

Abbott: Sure.

Costello: What’s one of their names?

Abbott: Why.

Costello: I just thought I’d ask you.

Abbott: Well, I just thought I’d tell ya.

Costello: Then tell me who’s posting.

Abbott: Who’s blogging first.

Costello: Give me the biggest poster’s name?

Abbott: Why.

Costello: Because!

Abbott: Oh, that’s the second biggest poster.

Costello: I don’t even know what I’m talking about!

April 23, 2008. Tags: , , . Uncategorized. 13 comments.

Mole Thing

With my apologies to the original artist.

I’ve been traveling all these years,
just barely getting by.
The net can be your friend
or the devil in disguise.

When the time gets boring,
those voices visit me.
Yet in soft, low tones,
they always say to me,
say to me,

“It ain’t no sane thing,
It ain’t no normal twang,
It’s their stupid refrain;
It’s a mole thang.”

Where the one mole fights the other mole,
where they trash and bash and harm,
no matter how long they may roam,
this song still takes us home,
To the home.

Now we’ll tell you about these times,
when the nuts come out to play,
and mfoya leaves it’s number…
it’s funny, it always says:

“It ain’t no sane thing,
It ain’t no normal twang,
It’s their stupid refrain;
It’s a mole thang.”

“Well, the stupidity continues to fly,
as the shitpile keeps getting higher.
They’re sending their stupidity over cable wire.
These days getting lonelier by the mile…by the mile.”

It ain’t no sane thing,
It ain’t no normal twang,
It’s their stupid refrain;
It’s a mole thang.

Anybody want to play Whack-A-Mole?

mole

April 21, 2008. Tags: , , . Uncategorized. 31 comments.

You Say You Want A Revolution?

There’s a new blog. (Shocking, I know.)

This new blog has decided that their mission is to enforce justice throughout the land. I wonder if they have shiny new stars to go along with with their new jobs? I wonder what kind of salary they get for being the Sheriffs of Taylorland? Does the job come with benefits? So many questions.

I became worried that I might inadvertently violate some of the Taylorland laws, and be carted off to the Taylorland Prison. So I did some searching on the internet and actually found a copy of the Constitution of Taylorland. Read these rules and commit them to memory, people. You don’t want to end up on the wrong side of the law!

We the people of Taylorland, in order to form a more perfect union, establish our brand of justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense of Taylor Hicks, promote the general satisfaction of our egos, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for Taylorland.

I – Establishment of Fandom

Taylorland shall make all laws respecting an establishment of fandom. Taylorland shall decide how one may act as a fan, how one may express their fandom, and who may be considered a fan. All those who are not accepted into Taylor fandom must be banished from Taylorland.

II – Right to Fan Freedom

A well-regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, will be established to enforce the fandom rules. This militia will be granted full power to search and destroy any who violate the laws of the land.

III – Conditions for Taylor fandom sites

No fan shall establish any site, or encourage any fandomness without the consent of the Taylorland militia. All violators will be subject to harassment and general trashing.

IV – Right of search and seizure established

There are no rights of the people of Taylorland to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects. All rights are forfeited when becoming a citizen of Taylorland.

V – Provisons concerning prosecution

All persons shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous, crime. These crimes may include, but not be limited to: disagreeing with the Sheriffs, attempting to disagree with the Sheriffs, speaking ill of the Sheriffs, or in anyway attempting to obstruct the Sheriffs in their tyranny of Taylorland.

VI – Right to a speedy trial, witnesses, etc.

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy no right to a speedy and public trial. If the Sheriffs say you’e guilty, you’re guilty. No evidence is necessary, however, if the Sheriffs do decide to present evidence, they are granted all rights to photochop, alter or flat out lie in such evidence.

VII – Right to a trial by jury

All Sheriffs are eligible to serve as jurors in a trial. No citizens of Taylorland are eligible to serve as jurors.

VIII – Excessive bail, cruel punishment

Excessive bail shall not be required. Mainly due to the fact that there is no need for bail, as a person is deemed guilty until proven innocent.

IX – Rights of the Citizens under Constitution

The Citizens of Taylorland shall have no rights, except for those bestowed by the Sheriffs. The Citizens should be grateful just to be allowed to live in Taylorland.

April 18, 2008. Uncategorized. 25 comments.

Da Nile…Not Just A River In Egypt!

We would like to make it clear as day that this site is no longer being run by the deity MFOYA.

(And I have a beautiful oceanfront condo for you to buy)

condo

Hahahaha! He flew back up into the sky where he came from.

(Oooooh, it has superhero powers. Don’t those tights cut the circulation off to his balls? Oh, that’s right, ain’t got none)

super

We even have a new look here. Chinz.

(Chinz? WTF is Chinz?)

We don’t discuss sham here *yawn*, that is very yesterday and we keep up with the times.

(We are just cooler than cool, don’t ya know)

nerd

MFOYA is gone.

(Maybe you’d like this to go with your condo?)

bridge

But dontcha worry, they’ve agreed to give me “scoopz” when necessary and I will share, but he is no longer blogging.

(Whoa, street cred! I’m impressed! Do you throw signs too?)

signs

If you really liked them, you might not like me. I am Baaaah and we might have various guest bloggers too.

(Didn’t like them, therefore, don’t like you. Of course, it’s all just one and the same isn’t it?)

birds

There seems to be such an overwhelming demand for us to continue our wonderful expose on the joke that is TMS. Whatz up with that? People are bursting to spill. Must be in the name of humanity.

(Overwhelming demand = 5-6 idiots who post the SOS over and over under different names)

rats

What does TMS stand for?

(What does MFOYA stand for? Making Fantasy Outta Your Ass?)

farts

April 15, 2008. Uncategorized. 20 comments.

Ass-eops Fables

wolf

Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf
Big bad wolf, big bad wolf?
Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf?
Tra la la la la

Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf
Big bad wolf, big bad wolf?
Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf?
Tra la la la la

April 14, 2008. Tags: , . Uncategorized. 6 comments.

Lessons Learned

Thurston?
Columbine?
Red Lake?

Any of these names ring a bell?

As I watch the flurry of activity on MFOYA, for some reason my mind wanders to these events in our recent history.

I don’t mean to imply that these things are the same, in any way. These were horrible tragedies, along with too many similar occurrences nationwide. What’s happening in MFOYAWorld is just a battle of who gets to make the last bitchy strike against the other. But still, I keep thinking of these schools and their sad legacy.

Maybe because it’s because this behavior reminds me of high school. Maybe because behind the words all I can see is pure hatred. Maybe because it seems that these people will go to extreme lengths to prove their point, leaving carnage in their wake.

Innocent people, children, being hurt? Oh, well. Shit happens, doesn’t it?

Somewhere in my head, I hear the voices of children saying “but, SHE started it!”

I tried using that excuse with my mother once. It was not a smart move.

I learned my lesson very quickly. I wish others had.

April 10, 2008. Tags: , . Uncategorized. 21 comments.

Deja Vu….Again!

It’s back!

I knew it. I predicted it. I should have put money on it in Vegas. I could have made a fortune.

I read it’s crap, and then I read it again.

So, there’s a “new” MFOYA? Bullshit. It’s the same old MFOYA. It’s just taken it to a whole new level.

It’s the same group. The same modus operandi. The same ole shit.

They’re just taking it to a new ugly place.

It’s not spur of the moment. It’s been planned for awhile. Look at the dates.

Look at the comments included in the blog. This little group has been together, they’ve not disbanded. They just went underground for a little while.

It’s time to make another prediction. It’s not going to stop and it’s going to get ugly.

Unless people are willing to stand up and say enough, nothing good will come of this.

April 9, 2008. Tags: , . Uncategorized. 8 comments.

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