I’ve Been A Bad, Bad Girl!

Trust me, I’m saving you all the trouble.  I got some long-ASS reply back from “youareallnuts” from my blog yesterday.  I’m sure it wanted me to post the whole thing, but I care too much for my readers and their time, to put them through the bother of reading it.

Let me summarize it for you in a condensed version.

Asses is stupid.  Youareallnuts is a genius.

Asses can’t read.  Youareallnuts uses multi-syllabic words.

Asses is a loser.  Youareallnuts is only reading a loser blog because it is bored.

Asses is in denial.  Youareallnuts is the voice of clarity.

Asses is lonely.   Youareallnuts has many friends.

Asses is obsessed.  Youareallnuts is focused.

See how much time and trouble I saved you all.  Oh, and I forgot, youareallnuts evidently is very powerful and can chew me up and spit me out if I cross it.

Funny, I’ve heard that kind of rhetoric before.  I bet if you think about it, you’ll remember too.

Gotta run.  I’m going fishing.  I heard there’s some great crap carp out there right now!

May 29, 2008. Tags: , . Uncategorized. 9 comments.

ASS-uming Facts Not In Evidence

Oh, they must be bored. They’re starting to write me again.

This is from someone called “youareallnuts”.  You know the drill…I’m the italics!.

“None of you idiots know Taylor.

(DUH!)

Yet you all claim to know what he would or would not do?

(Umm, actually, no I don’t)

Go read the posts here, you got Henry8 / Jeannie/ CBB etc knowing his every motivation and why.

(Actually, no they don’t)

How is that ANY different?

(See above)

You think those people are “overly invested?”

(No, I said they were great at multi-tasking)

You’re a bunch of grandma’s,

(WOW, I must have been some slutty 7 year old! And even if I was, what’s with the hating on grandmas? I love and respect my Grandmother. I would  be lucky to grow up to be the wonderful woman that she is.)

obsessed with his every move (

Yeah, right. Have you actually read my blog? Didn’t think so.)

, brutally attacking anyone with anything negative to say about “your man”

(My man? Okay, now you’ve done it. You made me laugh so hard, I just spit coffee all over my monitor. I’m going to have to bill you for that) .

You’re talking about yourselves here.

(Actually, no I’m not. I’m talking about you 🙂

At least those folks

(Those folks? Who are those folks? You mean the orphans? Even MFOYA doesn’t want to claim them!)

can accept the man has issues

(Ha Ha…doesn’t every man?)

and don’t blame everyone else for his crap career and bad press.

(I’d rather have his career than hawk corsets and bustiers to pimps and hos. Of course, that’s just my personal preference.)

Thanks for playing. Come back real soon, ya hear!

May 28, 2008. Tags: , , , . Uncategorized. 10 comments.

Paging Dr. Demented

quack

I love  the “armchair” psychologists out there.  They say they’ve left “Taylorland” but evidently that’s not really true.  Not when they’re still posting, still talking about the “sham”.

Even better, they feel qualified to explain someone’s actions, feel confident to point out the “flaws” in a person’s personality, and analyze their motivations.

Wow!  I’m in awe of the intelligence of these folks.   Most of the highly educated, highly paid professionals in the mental health field actually have to meet and talk to people over a period of time in order to analyze and help them understand their behavior.  Dr. Freud spent many years on one patient alone.  Yet this person can, without ever even SEEING OR SPEAKING WITH a man, explain his motivations and behavior, while at the same time finding the perfect lingerie for hookers!

Now, that’s what I call talent, people!

May 26, 2008. Tags: , . Uncategorized. 8 comments.

Break A Leg

First of all, I would like to apologize for my absence.   WordPress and I were having issues.  I wanted to write a new post and WordPress didn’t want me to.  Oh well, all has returned to normal.

So, the Soul Patrol is going to Broadway?  From what I read on the various boards, sounds like it’s going to be a good turnout.  Not only are they planning to attend the show, but I find there is various discussion going on about what type of gift to send for Opening Night.

I didn’t know that as a fan, I was supposed to send a gift.  Evidently my etiquette book that was given to me didn’t cover this topic.  Glad I found out before I made a complete fool of myself.

I’ve seen some of the different ideas that have been tossed around.  Some of these gifts look quite lovely, but come with a huge price tag.

My budget isn’t quite as generous as others.  However, in trying to find something that I could both afford and that TH might enjoy, I think I’ve come up with something.

Anybody wanna chip in?

basket

May 23, 2008. Tags: . Uncategorized. 4 comments.

How Do You Think I’m Going To Get Along Without You When You’re Gone

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, Im gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust

What’s with all the disappearing blogs? Was it another “accidental” deletion? Man, I hate when that happens!

May 18, 2008. Tags: , . Uncategorized. 12 comments.

If One Margarita Is Good, Three’s Gonna Be Awesome!

This is being posted as a public service announcement.

The American Idol Finale is coming soon. We are now down to the top (and I use that word loosely) 2 singers. We will now be forced to sit through what will probably go down in history as the most boring finale show ever! We can probably write the play by play before it even happens. (Does that make us like Paula?)

In one corner, we have Rock & Roll David. In the other corner, we have Balladeer David. Which will America choose? Who will wear the Pop-Tart crown?

For those of you who actually still believe that the winner has not already been selected, I hope you enjoy the show. (And please, say hello to the Easter Bunny for me.)

For those of you who will watch the show knowing full well that it doesn’t matter if you pick up the phone and dial, I have some advice.

Margaritas. A Big Giant Pitcher of Margaritas. In fact, if you want to be able to sit through both night’s shows, I would recommend renting or buying a Margarita machine. Not only will you be able to enjoy the craptastic show, but there’s a good chance that you won’t remember anything the next morning. And that could be a good thing.

May 16, 2008. Tags: , . Uncategorized. 5 comments.

If A Tree Falls In The Forest….

There’s an old saying “What if you held a party, and nobody came?”

I guess you’d call that a Soul Patrol Convention.

<So, I guess I’m new to this whole “Soul Patrol” thing. And I just don’t get it.

I’ve spent the last week, reading various boards and blogs. I still don’t get it.

I don’t understand the investment that people have with someone they’ve never met. I don’t understand why people believe that they should have input and/or judgement in what someone else decides what they should do with their career or their life.

I don’t understand why people feel that they have to be the ones that “know” it all. That they, and they alone, “know” what someone meant by a phrase, by a word, by a look.

Let’s flip this around. You are now the focus of this attention. You are now that person.

What are you going to do tomorrow? When you get up in the morning and dress for the day, do you realize that people are going to report on your outfit and decide whether or not you should have picked that to wear. Do you want to go on-line and read that people are “thudding” over your choice of shirt.

After you’re dressed, you decide what you’re going to do for breakfast. Do you dare go out in public to a restaurant? If you do, they’ll either follow you from your home, or accidentally stumble across you. They’ll report on what you ordered, they’ll report on who you were with, they’ll report on what kind of tip you left.

Breakfast is over. What’s next? It’s early yet, but you have to make your choices carefully. If you go to the grocery store, to stock your cabinets/fridge, so you can actually cook breakfast at home, you will probably be followed. Again, reports will be made to everyone on the items in your grocery cart.

It’s lunchtime. Do you really want a repeat of what happened at breakfast? Skip lunch.

Afternoon. You need to run some errands, because it’s not as if you have a full staff at home that takes care of things for you. But what might be a normal 10 minute run to the dry cleaners turns into 45 minutes, because you have to make nice with anyone who might recognize you and make sure that they get that picture for “Aunt Peg”.

So it’s taken 5 hours to run errands that would take a normal person maybe 2 hours to complete.

It’s Saturday night. You have a date. It’s someone you just met, and would like to get to know better. Do you dare go out in public, to a nice dinner? Do you risk being approached, being photographed? Does that person realize that if anyone sees you, that she will become a topic of conversation by many. Is she ready for all of this? Is it worth it?

Sounds like a fun life, doesn’t it?

May 16, 2008. Tags: . Uncategorized. 17 comments.

Mothers Come In All Styles

I want to wish a “Happy Mother’s Day” to all of the Moms out there. May your day be whatever it is that you wish for it to be. Some mothers just want to be surrounded by their children for the day. Other mothers may wish for a day away from the little darlings. Mothers come in many varieties. There are the Moms who bake cookies, sew costumes for school plays and become presidents of the PTA. Then there are the Moms who take a different path.

In honor of Mother’s Day, I’d like to share a little story about my own maternal lineage.

My mother was raised in what some might call “privileged” circumstances. With a constant staff of nannies and governesses, I’m pretty sure that my grandmother never changed a diaper in her entire life. This grandiose lifestyle ended with the death of my grandfather. My grandmother was then subject to the whims of the trustees of my grandfathers estate, who decided that she needed to be put on a strict budget to prevent her from frittering away my grandfather’s money. Of course, the fact that they were concerned for their own “trustee fees”, I’m sure had nothing to do with it. 🙂

My grandmother decided she needed to cut corners to save money. Of course, she couldn’t possibly survive without her “staff” around her, but she decided that there must be a way to pay them less. (She would never have considered hiring “illegals”, because that would have gone against her Christian beliefs.) She soon found that if she only hired staff that no one else wanted, she would be able to pay them a little less than the going rate.

My mother had come home from college for the weekend. She stopped at the house long enough to drop off her bag and immediately left to meet up with friends for a night out. She staggered home in the wee hours of the morning and went straight to bed. A few hours later she woke up with a headache (HAHA) and very thirsty, so she stumbled to the kitchen to grab some aspirin and water. She opened the kitchen door and stopped abruptly. She turned around and went out the door and went straight to my grandmother’s bedroom, where my grandmother was sitting up in her bed, on the phone with her bookie. My mother urgently motioned for my grandmother to get off of the phone. As soon as Grandmother hung up, my mother insisted that she be taken to the emergency room. She explained to my grandmother that she had “accidentally” taken some drugs and must have overdosed because she was hallucinating. She told my grandmother that she had gone into the kitchen and had seen little people climbing around on the counters.

My grandmother calmly turned to my mother and said “You’re not hallucinating. Those are the new maids that I hired.”

mom

May 8, 2008. Tags: , . Uncategorized. 8 comments.

The Pervs Are Everywhere!

Is is National Vomit Week or something?

With my stomach still a bit queasy from yesterdays internet cruising, I was trying to be careful with what I exposed myself to today. Stay away from the fantardy places, avoid any threads/blogs that might venture into fantasy scenarios or sexual imagery. At least, that’s what I thought.

I didn’t expect that I was going to stumble across a blog that made me laugh out loud with it’s tard-iness. Written by none other than a MFOYA orphan!

Yes, a MFOYA orphan wrote a perv blog! You remember MFOYA folks, the ones who spent months criticizing and making fun of so many fans of Taylor Hicks for their behavior?

Here’s a few of my favorite lines:

“Is it too much to ask for Taylor to stop being photographed, for him to stop making fuck faces when he sings, for Taylor to stop just stop (well he’s kind of done that huh?) the eye fuck, the dreaded eye fuck.” (Grown women talk like this? Seriously? )

“It’s not easy working and perving I can attest to that.” (Thank God I wasn’t one of your customers that day. Ewww!)

“Then there is the desperate look on your children’s faces as they try to figure out what the hell is wrong with mommy….The mommy who sees a gorgeous pic of Taylorfuckinghicks and loses it.” (It’s okay, they’ll be on their own soon enough.)

“Now we’re the hot women, not the scary ones, believe me.” (Somehow, for some reason, I just don’t.)

Oh, Lord, the irony of it. I feel like I should be shaking my head in disbelief. But I can’t. I can’t stop laughing.

May 6, 2008. Tags: , . Uncategorized. 46 comments.

Please Pass The Barf Bag!

Ewwwww!
I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

I’ve learned through this blog and others, that there’s a whole world of fan sites that I’ve never known about before. So I was doing a little “research”, and couldn’t believe what I found. It made me happy for my ignorance up until now.

I found one particular thread disturbing. It was called “The Offical Archie Scenario Thread, Fulfilling Your Deepest Desires”.

It started off innocently enough, talking about him singing to the poster, going on a simple picnic, or sending roses. But the mood of the thread began to change. Soon, there were some pretty steamy scenarios that were being talked about. Whipped Cream included!

I understand fantasy, especially with teenage girls. But not all of these posters are teenage girls (or boys, there’s a separate thread for guys who have a crush on him). Some of them are grown women. They’re making up these stories and posting them on the internet for everyone to see. Seriously, what are they thinking, fantasizing about kissing or being with a 17 year old boy?

Somebody call Chris Hansen! In the meantime, I’m going to go take a shower…with bleach!

May 5, 2008. Tags: , . Uncategorized. 11 comments.