Leaving On A Jet Plane

See this picture? In less than 48 hours, this will be me.

In a little over 24 hours, I’m jetting away from some R&R…You all have driven me to the point that I need a break!


J/K, this has been planned for awhile. I must say I’m a little nervous leaving the playground open for you folks. Lord only knows what I might come back to find. I feel like a parent who’s leaving their children alone for the first time.

I’m afraid I might come back to either this:

or this:

Play nice children, and make Momma proud!


September 30, 2008. Tags: . Uncategorized. 53 comments.

Whyyyyyy, God, Whyyyyy?

September 26, 2008. Tags: , , , . Uncategorized. 27 comments.

Tips For Effective Communication

Now, I realize that sometimes discussion can get a little heated. However, I have learned that often it’s not so much WHAT you say, but how you say it. Let’s look at some examples of different ways of saying the same thing.

You’re crazy as a fucking loon.
You think in ways that others don’t.

You need to be committed
You deserve a vacation.

You’re fat and ugly
That dress does wonders for you!

Are you always this stupid?
You haven’t changed a bit!

Get you head out of your ass!
You have an interesting view of things.

Now that we’ve had a quick lesson, let’s see if we can put creativity into our posts, shall we?

September 25, 2008. Tags: , . Uncategorized. 92 comments.

Six Degrees of Separation

I decided to catch up on the latest news across Taylorland, so I went board-hopping (similar to bar-hopping, unfortunately not nearly as much fun).

So, evidently Mr. Hicks sat in with some band somewhere in Alabama. I didn’t get all the facts but found many posters trying to get confirmation of the appearance and the details. (Evidently, proof is required to post this kind of information. Now, I’m not sure why, and I’m not sure what exactly rises to the level of concrete proof. Is there an official form one must fill out for a sighting? But I digress.)

Anyway, so the band ends up confirming the information and voila…next thing you know, certain people who are famous around Taylorland are now myspace buddies with the band and posting in the band’s comments. Now, this band seems to be a local Alabama band, and I’m thinking there’s pretty much a snowball’s chance in hell that these Hicks fans will ever see or hear this band play in their lifetime.

However, I guess you can never have too many friends, right? Especially friends with connections.

September 22, 2008. Tags: , , , . Uncategorized. 72 comments.

The Bumpy Road

Evidently, Taylor Hicks didn’t know that this was the route he had to follow with his fans.

Maybe he should have checked Mapquest before he even tried out for American Idol.

September 16, 2008. Tags: , , . Uncategorized. 364 comments.

His Way

And now, the end is here;
And so he faced the closing curtain.
My friend, Ill say it clear,
Ill state my case, of which Im certain.

He had 3 months of Grease.
He shucked and jived all over Broadway;
And more, much more than this,
He did it his way.

His fans, There’s been a slew;
they’ve sent him gifts and lots of liquor.
He drank what he could drink
then used the rest as his hair slicker.

He planned each funky move;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
He did it his way.

Yes, there were times, Im sure you knew
When fans tried to tell him what to do.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
he ate it up and spit it out.
he faced it all and he stood tall;
And did it his way.

He’s been loved and villified.
He’s had his fill; his share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
He finds it all so quite amusing.

To think he did all that;
And may I say – not in a shy way,
No, oh no not him,
He did it his way.

For what is a star, what has he got?
If not his fans, then he has naught.
These fans decide what he should do;
who he can see, who he can screw .
The record shows he took the blows –
And did it his way!

September 12, 2008. Tags: . Uncategorized. 19 comments.

Now You See Em….

Now You Don’t.

September 8, 2008. Tags: , . Uncategorized. 241 comments.

Required Reading

After reading the message below from the orphans board, I’m sending this to Taylor.

I expect Taylor to treat me with respect. I am essentially his boss. I pay his salary. I can fire him at any time.

September 5, 2008. Tags: , . Uncategorized. 60 comments.

Deja Vu All Over Again, And Again, And Again.

So, I had a brief break from blogging.  I didn’t know what to expect when I returned.  I should have known better.  It’s as if I had never left.

We’ve got one group saying goodbye to Taylor.  Again.  Like they did the last time.  And the time before that.  One would think there’d be a limit on how many times that can be done.

Then we’ve got another blogger who spent hours and hours posting supposed “secret messages”.  I tried to understand them, I really did.  I tried reading them backwards, I tried to crack the code, I even had some shots of tequila to see if that would let me understand them.  Nothing helped.

Another stop brought forth the usual “you’re the man”,  “I love you”, and “I’ll see you after the show”.  All written to make others believe that they are BFF’s.

By the end of my little tour of Taylortown, my head was spinning.  I’m going to go lie down and take a nap.   A person can only take so much of this.

I’m sure the tequila had nothing to do with it.

September 3, 2008. Tags: , , . Uncategorized. 37 comments.